Q) How do you start a fight between the members of the MyOffice team?
A) Point at the screen and say “That, my friend, isn’t a Diary, it’s a Calendar!”.
It works every time, I promise you, so much so that in-house debates as to whether “the things you put appointments in” are diaries or calendars are virtually banned. I therefore present to you the standard in-house arguments. First, in the blue corner, the defending champion…
Diary
A quick dive into the Compact Oxford English Dictionary gives us the following definition :
• noun (pl. diaries) 1. a book in which one keeps a daily record of events and experiences.
2. a book marked with each day’s date, in which to note appointments.
Ah, well there’s the problem straight away. Our friend the dictionary has dived straight in with the “Dear Diary” definition, and quite clearly, that’s not what MyOffice is about. Something tells me that Samuel Pepys wouldn’t have gone down in history in quite the same way had his diary consisted of a series of reminders about meetings in coffee houses, and the annual chore of getting the fire extinguishers checked, just in case, or that Allison Moyet was on about a note to “Meet Ali for a beer after work” in the chorus of “Nobody’s Diary”. No, MyOffice definately isn’t that kind of diary.
It is, however, the kind of diary mentioned in definition number two. Okay, so it’s not a book, but it does provide for the creation of lots “thingies” in which to make a record of planned future events. In that sense, the “thing with appointments in it” is most definately a diary. It’s a diary in the same sense that the black leather-covered A4 sized book that lived in the corner of the office and contained the dates of significant events for the company was a diary, and that my Gran used a diary to make a note of who she was supposed to having coffee with next week. Hers, however, was smaller, had a gold cover, and didn’t come as an annual free gift from the office supplies company. No, the diary module is correctly named, because it does the “stuff” that businesses do with their diaries, and MyOffice is aimed squarely at business customers.
So diary it is.
Calendar
Oh no it isn’t! It’s a calendar. Look in the top left corner of the so-called diary window and there’s even a control that looks like a calendar! Even better, click on the Month View button and two thirds of the screen is taken up by something which any rational English-speaker would describe as “a calendar”.
• noun 1 a chart or series of pages showing the days, weeks, and months of a particular year. 2 a system by which the beginning, length, and subdivisions of the year are fixed. 3 a list or schedule of special days, events, or activities.
Well, it would appear the Compact Oxford’s come out well and truely in favour of the challenger, Calendar. There’s nothing there to suggest a calendar is anything other than a thingy one uses to plan and record future events. Not even a whiff of “What I did at the weekend”, “I’ve just met this really hot girl”, or a vivid account of London ablaze from end to end. Doesn’t get much more conclusive than that, does it? We must have got it wrong. They’re not diaries, they are calendars after all.
But not so fast…
When was the last time someone told you they’d “make a note of it on their calendar”? Quite a long time ago, I suspect. For proof of this one, next time you get your car serviced, have a look at any calendars on the wall. The servicing department don’t keep a list of all the cars they’ve got booked in on them, that’s for sure. No, those lists are, if not computerised, in something which you’d be hard pressed to call anything other than a diary. Try the same with a hair-dressers, or a doctor’s surgery. The receptionist certainly doesn’t lean against the wall and scribble “Mr. Pepys, ingrown toenails, Dr. Smith, 4pm” under next July’s member of the World’s Twelve Cutest Kittens. No, she puts it in the doctor’s diary. The list of real-world examples lined up against calendar, and in favour of diary is endless, so I’ll not bore you any further with bizarre images of driving instructors unfolding A1 wall calendars in their Nissans Micras, or teachers planning parents evenings in half an inch of space by pinching the microscopes from the biology store-room. No, quite simply, they’re not calendars.
Okay, so they’re diaries. Why all this Calendar talk?
Without beating around the bush, quite simply, it’s a “Sales n’ Marketing” problem. Whilst it’s not exactly hard to make the connection between calendars and diaries in the context of MyOffice, and given the way the diary window’s laid out, we could call them absolutely anything within the product and 99% of people would still suss out “it’s a thing to put future events in”, the problem comes when potential customers are presented with the word for the first time.
The problem word is most definately ‘diary’. In the minds of an awful lot of people, it conjours up an image of a blog, and we do pick up and awful lot of traffic from the search engines where the search terms show pretty clearly the visitor is looking for just that.
So, what do you think? Are we right to call “them” diaries, or should they be calendars? Would changing the name cause untold confusion, or doesn’t it really matter?